Who Am I?

Have you ever met some great role models that you would like to emulate? Growing up I felt I only had my mother who taught me to make great sacrifices, be strong, and work hard. I never really knew anyone that would teach me to really find my authentic self and truly be happy. I feel lucky everyday to cherish the people in my life that have really taught me that. 

“Sometimes I feel there is too much noise in the world and not speaking but writing my truth feels right. We are all entitled to an opinion, but choosing to read on has an unspoken power.”

Jenny Celli

    We see it in memes and motivational quotes but what does it mean to truly be yourself. To me it means to know your strengths and weaknesses. Being able to not hide them in shame or guilt but to celebrate and improve yourself for your well being. There are times when we are self aware but then lack the vision to look within. I have been living in fear of being my authentic self. Really going for what I want to do based on how others may judge. As much as some may say “I don’t care what people think”, it is human nature to seek group approval and that is okay. I have been doing it all my life in subconscious ways. I remember it starting when I was 18 just graduating from high school. I really wanted to be a massage therapist but got discouraged by others saying that it doesn’t pay well or feeling ashamed because it was not a degree program. I felt a need that having a degree was supposed to make me better, but in actuality it doesn’t. Those societal pressure made me feel inferior of my choices, so I went to the community college and decided to be a sleep technician. After working as a sleep tech for 3 years I got tired of working nights and felt stuck, I decided to go into the Air Force with a new outlook and beginning in life. 

My plan was to work and go to school and get my Bachelors in something I could use. What actually happened was I went for a job I didn’t really want and picked a major that easier for me to graduate with. Though I learned a lot and had a good time, I was still missing something. I hated my job there was a time where I got depressed and felt like I couldn’t do it anymore. I looked for options to get out and found it. I obtained my degree in organizational leadership and here I am now as an intern working in the HR department. Though life is good I am still missing the passion that I am longing for. I want to start over again but this time I want to do it right. 

So what has changed? Having met some awesome people that are courageous in their passions for life has made me want to fight for my happiness, as well. Their courage has taught me to let go of society and be who I am! So who am I? 

  • Strong
  • Creative
  • Leader
  • Extrovert
  • Introvert
  • Outgoing
  • Active
  • Spontaneous
  • Adventurous   
  • Loving
  • Scared
  • Happy
  • Emotional
  • Curious 
  • Excited
  • Confident

These qualities make me who I am. The person I want to become more of and the being I want to exude to the world. It all starts with doing my passion. Looking back at my past, I want to be better emotionally, I want to help others and finally do what makes me happy. 

I am excited to announce that 2020 is my year! I will be turning 30 and finally feel like I am truly loving myself. My plans are to become a real estate agent and work as a team with my husband. We will have the freedom, flexibility, and financial stability to do whatever we want! No more working at a 9 to 5 job where I HATE my Life, have to fight for time off, and just do things that I really don’t like doing. I want to work for myself and be my own boss/leader. The Air National Guard will take care of our insurance/benefit needs while the AirBnB takes care of our mortgage. While I work, I want to use the GI Bill and go to Massachusetts College of Art and finally go for the fashion certificate program. My success is up to me and no one else. 

Life is about doing what is right for you and making those choices based off of what you need in life to be happy. I am still learning so much about myself and I know that will never change. Just know that it is never too late and stay motivated! 

Published by connectedpines

Disabled veteran healing with art, music, & Ayurveda

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