Closure

After this crazy journey of getting out of the Air Force, into the Air National Guard, Back and neck injury, VA claims, Yoga teacher training, and fashion design;

I have come to realize that I just need to STOP!

Throughout 2020 and the beginning of 2021, I’ve had debilitating episode every other month. These flare ups were caused by gentle movements during my Registered Yoga Teacher Training and medical devices that were given to me by the VA.

Every time I fall down, I try to get back up. I keep trying to keep up with my part-time classes, projects, appointments, and training. It was getting tough. Thanks to Covid-19, I learned that I needed to be closer to home and focus on my health.

Even though I was home, I was still doing things that irritated my body.

Even though I was moving slow, I was still irritating my body.

Even though I was resting a lot, I was still irritating my body.

I felt like I was running in a circle, healing is no easy feat.

Step 1. Learn the patterns of behavior that cause yourself pain.

Takes a lifetime to get through all of the BullSH**T you put yourself through. So every year counts! Every year there is so much more to learn. 2020 was my learning year. I felt like such a little girl. My inner child screaming for help! There was only one thing to do.

Save Her!

I fought for resources to try and help me succeed. When I felt like losing hope, I would apply for other avenues of resources. Just keep applying, reading and practicing yoga. Identify what is causing pain and people that do not really support you. The world is full of opportunities, having an open mind and putting yourself out there is key.

My circle has gotten smaller but I know who my Down A$$ people are. Transitioning into a disability is hard, your whole being and environment must support this healing. Do yourself a favor and start clearing the toxic energy around you. Bring yourself love and peace to this traumatic phase in your life.

Find what bring your joy! And for Fu!#% sake PLAY!

Playing is healing. You are a blissful being deep down inside. Do not hide your light.

During the Spring 2021 semester, I got a wheelchair then needed to take a break from the Fashion Design program. It’s devastating to lose an ability. As I heal from the roller coasters of flare ups, I realized that I can’t keep living like this.

So I decided that Western medicine is not going to help me. It will help with my symptoms and assisted devices for my worsening condition. I need preventative medicine.

I need a lifestyle change.

I need a life that will support my health and well being. I started to look into Ayurvedic Medicine. I wanted to find a training program that will teach me about Ayurvedic medicine. How to counsel myself on my own health and hopefully counsel others in the future. We ourselves are the greatest student and teacher. We learn by doing and teach others by doing. The traditions and culture will continue to live as it continues to serve man.

The same day I took Medical leave from the Fashion Design Program is the same day I found Boston Ayurveda School. They have a self pace Personalized Ayurveda Immersion course, that aides you in Ayurvedic journey. You will meet with Ayurvedic doctors, bodywork therapist, follow guided dietary change and do Ayurvedic Yoga. You will also get to learn the philosophy and principles. I love learning about energy medicine. So I feel this course and the doctor visits are something that can help me manage and hopefully heal my back and neck.

A few days later after talking to the school and making a go fund me to help pay for training.I found out that my VA claim for my neck was processed and they rated me 100%

Finally some funding for my health!

The VA covers massage, acupuncture, and physical therapy for holistic/conservative measure but not Ayurvedic Medicine. Due to Covid most of my care has been in my own hands.

So I need to keep up this trend because in the end, all I have is myself.

The knowledge and tools I give myself to live a better life, will get me farther than 100 visits at a massage therapist. If I can help heal my body with food, gentle movements and fully understand what is ailing me, I know I can heal.

Receiving 100%, will help ease financial burdens and stress. I will not have to live from a fear of security. I am thankful for this decision. It was truly hard at every aspect of my life.

I had no idea that my transition was going to be SOOOO hard! I kept smiling even when I was depressed and hated all the pity that people seemed to throw along the way. I still have the same goals, hopes, and dreams.

I can say that this brings closure to my 5 years of service, but opens the door of Medical Board to my Air National Guard contract.

Now when people thank me for my service, it will hit differently, now that I am in a Wheelchair.

Published by connectedpines

Disabled veteran healing with art, music, & Ayurveda

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: